Tag Archives: autism

And just like that, he is 18

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I’ve been quite emotional about this, I can’t lie.  It is SO true that time flies, whether it’s good or bad you can’t slow it down and yes,  hindsight is a wonderful thing.  My first born, first love, turns 18years old. So, as a note to me and maybe him, (he may read it one day), I was going to write 18 things about O…..

 

But decided that maybe wasn’t enough.  I could also go on about autism, diagnosis, milestones, my mistakes, how big and wide your feet are, how handsome you are, your isms, obsessions, our ups and downs, staying true to yourself, your kind soul, how hard mothering can be, what I have learned.  But the crux of story that is you so far is…

…..I’m proud of you
and you’re pretty awesome.

Happy birthday O, I love you x

 

Results Day

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resultsSo today was GCSE results day for many including my first born.  It has been full of mixed emotions to say the least.  I didn’t really know what to expect when he opened his envelope, and I’m not sure if he did either.  O’s facial expressions are hard to read at the best of times, a typical ASD trait and he is pretty positive and optimistic about everything, even when things haven’t gone according to plan sometimes.

O isn’t academic and I didn’t want for A*’s.  What I did want was for him to do his best and get some results for his confidence and self esteem, and know he is as good as anybody else he stands next to. It can be hard to do when you have a diagnosed label and statement in education, where support is a constant fight and struggle when you appear to be ok and ‘making progress’.

O got some GCSE’s, something I didn’t know if it was possible 14yrs ago.  I spent a lot of today going to the loo to hide my tears that kept pouring out.  Some from relief, some from pride, a lot from flash backs of the last 16yrs.  God, motherhood is hard sometimes.  Emotionally exhausting, lonely, rewarding, full of love and the best thing I have ever done, warts and all (and there are a lot of those).

The rest of the day has been lunching out and treats.

He has what he needs to go to the college he chose for the next 3yrs.  I’m not sure what his best is or could have been, all I know is that he got what he needed and I’m proud and happy for him.  I hope he feels that way too.

High 5 and all the love for my O x

The boy that changed my world.

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16years (and 9months) this boy has been in my life.  It’s been said so often, but I remember it so clearly, like it was yesterday.  I can feel all the emotions, and smell the smells of the day I met him.  Maybe because he was my first, maybe because it didn’t go as I wanted and ended up being a bit of a trauma and comedy scene at the same time.  To contradict that though, so much has happened in these 16years.  Changes I would never have wanted or planned but it has made us, us.

I have so many worries and fears about the next year (GCSE’s) that it’s made me a bit ill, but I should maybe take a breath and put it in to perspective.  Yes, qualifications are important but if you don’t make the grades for reasons other than being lazy it doesn’t mean your future will be terrible.  Some people can’t perform in exams, maybe that day turns out to be a bad day for you.  You still matter, and have something to offer and can make something amazing for yourself.

Oscar is one of a kind,  parenthood is life changing.  Having a child that is classed as ‘different’ is challenging, frustrating, exhausting and rewarding.

He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, I think it’s been harder for him than he’s let on,  and I will always fight for him.

He is a pretty special bean, happy birthday O and thank you for being you x

*Birthday celebration code is running on the shop until Sunday midnight.  Enter code OSCAR16 at checkout to receive 25% off your order.

This Boy Of Mine

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So, this boy (my eldest) has gone to Devon for a week.  All on his own.  It’s the first week of the holidays and O has gone on a week of food with Root CampRoot Camp is a hands on cookery course for 14-21yr olds.

The point of this post is mainly for me to note my pride for my first born.   He is a typical 15yr old boy that spends a lot of time in his (stinky) bedroom, playing games, listening to music and grunting at me occassionally, but……

I am SO proud of this boy.  As some may know, when O was 2yr (and a bit) he was placed on the Autistic Spectrum.  I was told he was a complex case, was unlikely to have friends or attend birthday parties and I should prepare myself to care for him forever.  The next advice was to go and read some books (the advice now, has improved I believe and has more support).  So I did.

O has just completed his two weeks work experience in the West End, interacting with strangers and traveling in rust hour on his own.  He did his placement in the kitchen’s of a restaurant as he is quite keen on cooking, which I’m hoping had a positive impact on him.  He is not an academic Autist.  He is now on a week away learning about food, with a group of strangers, in a place he is not familiar with – all his choice.

I cannot put in to words the concerns I have about the final year of G.C.S.E’s ahead.  How i feel about ‘the system’, as well as how I feel about myself and how I have dealt with this spectrum called Autism.  Though this is a whole other post.

For now, I admire him greatly, he and his ism’s frustrate me hugely.  But he’s been gone a few hours and I miss him but hope he has a great time (and behaves like any other 15yr old would (within reason 😁) )x

Charity T’s

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charityteesAll or some of the profits of these adult and kids T’s go to charities, so apart from them being great they’re definitely worth a look and a purchase now!

Top: LIl’ Beans x Le Gun, Mother of Dragons Tee Foster LA, Monkey and Mole
Middle: Selfish Mother
Bottom:  Monkey and Mole, Lil’ Beans x Le Gun

Go visit LatteMama’s pop up

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LatteMama are having a pop up on the Kings Road from 15th – 28th August, in conjunction with Popup Britain.  A great part of London for a bit of shopping and a chance to browse through some cool AW13 stock, from the likes of Mini Rodini and Indikidual.  Our Lil’ Beans/Le Gun t-shirts will be there with the lovely LatteMama too, so you you can add a bit of guilt free shopping in to the mix, as all profits of them go to charity.  A visit is a definite must.

Happy weekend x

image. LatteMama

Autism and us

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My eldest son ‘O’ was diagnosed and put on the Autistic Spectrum at the age of 2 1/2years old.  He is now 13 1/2yrs.  They weren’t sure where on the spectrum exactly, but that he probably wouldn’t have any friends, birthday parties, speak properly and live with me forever.  The next advice was that I should go and read some books.

And so our journey and knowledge of Autism began.  O’s dad and I dealt with it in very different ways; he avoided it, I was consumed by Autism and O for years.  I read as much as I could, watched documentaries, went to seminars, researched online.  But, he didn’t seem to fit into an exact stereotype.  This was where I went wrong.  The Autistic Spectrum is so vast and levels of Autism vary, that I was never going to find an exact replica of my son.  And, thinking about it now, I’m not sure I would want to.  I just wanted the best and latest ways to help him understand people around him and be happy.

There has been lots of paperwork over the years, regarding statements (the bain of my life), school meetings (I sense their sinking feeling when they see me coming), speech therapy (weekly, for 7yrs), and my tears of frustration, sadness, happiness and pride.

O went to a private school for 5years, which helped a lot.  He was in a class of 7, had an excellent speech and language therapist and a great support worker.  This helped his progress dramatically.  He then went to main stream school (due to funds), a huge change, but he dealt with it amazingly well, considering his obsession for routine.

Oscar is high functioning on the Autistic Spectrum.  Last year I went and had him re-assessed, simply because he was now in secondary school, we’d never had a proper ‘Autism’ conversation and he is so different to what he was like when he was a 2year old.  O would be described as having Aspergers Syndrome if discussed in labeling terms now.  It doesn’t make any difference to us, it will just help when and if he wants to know more or wants advice about anything.  At the moment he’s not interested.

O likes his routine, obsessed with time, repeats himself ALOT (especially if HE thinks it’s interesting or funny), and is very literal.  So, you need to say ‘exactly’ what you mean because he corrects you, holds you to it and can be very frustrating hearing him say “well, if you meant that, then you should have said it like this.”

He has his obsessions and quirks, and can be the sweetest, sensitive most loving boy.  He is also a typical teenage boy, lazy, monosyllabic and console loving.

I’m very proud of how O is, and how he has managed mainstream school and relationships.  He does have friends, has had parties and been to them.  There will always be lists and labels around to help him remember certain things, orders in which you should probably do things, and may have to work a little harder on social interaction than some.

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I’ve learned a lot from this boy, my first love, he is AWESOME.

 

A week today

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Our Lil’ Beans Kids Store launches a week today! We are launching our online store with a limited run of t-shirts, all profits from these tee’s will go to charity.  The t-shirts have been designed by Chris Bianchi and Bill Bragg from London collective Le Gun.  They are currently involved in an exhibition ‘Memory Palace’ that launched last week at the V&A.  We will then gradually add our brands to the shop for AW13 over the next month.

 


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